his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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