the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Randomize
