Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
