why didn't you poke me back
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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