dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
