the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
