I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
