Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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