We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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