She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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