Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
