wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize