I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
