i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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