This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
