I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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