For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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