i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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