apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
