I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
