ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
