Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just found a bag of teeth...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
