Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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