you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
