my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
