You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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