our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
