My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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