You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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