3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
FUCK WHALES
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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