why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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