Sry I called you an 8
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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