i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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