check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize