just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
