I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ttyl tear gas
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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