Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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