sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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