The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
