i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
