1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
