I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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