1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
