one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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