quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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