So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
