weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dick very happy bro
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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