about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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