The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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