my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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