Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
now i know why i became what i already was.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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