with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
