Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The ass gains better be worth it
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
