I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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