Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i've created a new STD.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
