if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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