new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
