Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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