I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
