Will you blow on my dice?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
