laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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