Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
