Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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