david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize