I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize