belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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